Can people really live alone, without any friends? I always hear people say that they are capable of living happily even when they are alone. Is it just words of consolation to themselves or is there any truth to this statement? I always thought that we, humans, were never solitary animals. Unlike some of the animals in Nature. For a very long time, I have been pondering over this question and I don't think that I have came to a conclusion yet. Whatever. Don't think that it is that important anyway. Yesterday, throughout the night, I was sifting through the forums of my various modules. I spent quite a lot of time on each and every one of them, especially for my language module. And finally, I came to conclusion: I am really dumb. You guys must be thinking about the relation between this 2 matters right? Well, let me explain the situation to you guys. First, let me update you guys on the modules that I am taking: Language, History, Political Science, Chinese Heritage and Southeast Asia. On the forum, the other students discuss about the lectures and the things that they don't understand. At least, they know what are the things that they don't know. For me, I don't even know what I know or not know. So after reading through the posts, I found out that there are really alot of things that I do not know at all. And the language that the people use is really sophisticated with good phrasing of their sentences and a VERY good idea of what they are talking about. Suddenly, I feel like the dumbest person on earth. And I am sort of starting to believe that I am. Sometimes, I don't even know what I am doing most of time. When I tell myself that I am supposed to be reading up on stuff or doing something productive, somehow or rather, I would while away my time and in a blink of the eye, a day is over. I wonder how did I manage to get so far in the first place. Am I even supposed to be here? I believe that everything happen for a reason, but now, I have no idea what is the reason for putting me in this situation. Is it to show me that I am not that smart as I think I am at times? Is it to teach me how to live life through the hard way: failure? What is it? I would say that I am optimistic most of the time but sometimes I wonder too. Am I like that because I don't think much and am very much contented with my stuff or is it just a front? I don't know. Seriously. Because when I get down to thinking about myself, all sorts of weird consequences of my actions will appear in front of me. I am a person who does not plan ahead. I believe that there is no point in too much planning because things will always not go according to plan. You can call me brainless or dumb or irresponsible, I don't really care. But that's how I am. Well, I don't seem to know anything anymore. Kind of lost at times. Wondering what the hell am I doing, what the hell am I SUPPOSED to be doing but not doing it at all. Crap. I want to be an animal. Only worry is about filling up their tummies, territorial stuff and protecting their offsprings. Easy life.
