Supposed to be sleeping now because technically, I'm a sick person but I just don't feel like sleeping now. Have to wake up around 12+ tomorrow because meeting kutu for lunch before we go for some program organised by our school. We are supposed to have a course; an I&E(it means something and enterprise) course at the Esplanade library. I mean it might be useful for us but not at this period of time. We are supposed to be given the time to study for our exams, but not that we will make use of the weekends to study. haha.. But still... Guess I'll just have to make the best out of the situation then. Recently, I'm beginning to feel that I'm not as close as some of my friends whom I thought were supposed to be close friends with me. I don't know what happened and I really have no idea what I can do to revert things back to how it was in the past. I'm quite bothered by the change in this friendship because I'm someone who treats friendship as an extremely important thing. I really hope that things will change for the better and we will again be as close and as crap as before.
Anyway, was reading some mails by kaisiang and by re-reading them, I really could feel something. We were indeed close in the beginning months and the feeling was mutual. But as time goes by, things really change. I had always known that things will change but it's only a matter of changing for the better or the worst. If you ask me, I would admit that I missed those days when we were sweet and happy and when there was always someone around but the surroundings and situation had changed. By adapting to the new situation and making the best out of it will be the best choice. If things had to end, might as well end it fast and direct instead of dragging it all the way until one party can't stand it. Everything happen for a reason. Things that are meant to happen will happen. The person who is meant to be yours will be yours even if you chase him/her away. No point brooding over something that you have no control over. Although I would think of myself as someone who are open to new ideas, ironically, I'm someone who actually believes in fate and believes that there are some things which we have absolutely no control over. No matter how hard you try to control it, ultimately you will not have the last say. You can only follow the path that is decided for you.
BUT, right now, I'm going to try to change my path and situation for my maths. haha.. It's totally hopeless now and hopefully by practising more with my trusty ten-years series, I will be able to change the state of my mathematics skills.. haha.. Look out people... Here comes a new me.. Wahaha!!
